Rendezvouses and Rowdiness
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Lisanna and Bickslow totally didn't plan for the Strauss siblings and the Thunder Legion to all meet up at some out of the way hotel. No way. And definitely not so that they could, like, screw or whatever. Not at all. Or did they? (No, seriously, they didn't.) - One-shot.


Rendezvouses and Rowdiness

"You sure that you want to stop here, Lisanna? I mean, what's so great about this place? I'm sure that we could just catch a train straight back to Magnolia and bypass this all together."

"Elf," Lisanna complained as they walked into the hotel. "This place has an excellent spa, I've heard. And I want to give it a shot. Not to mention, we just went on a grueling job. Don't you wanna have a little fun?"

"Of course," he grumbled. "Which is why I wanna get home and see all our friends."

"More like you just wanna see Ever."

"Wha-"

"Nothing." She tugged at his arm, dragging him over to the check in desk. "Come on. They have a pool."

Well, with that enticement…

Besides it was rather nice out that day, making it an excellent one for just lounging by the pool. And there was no one else hanging around there it seemed that day, which was kind of a plus. He and Lisanna hadn't gotten much time to spend alone recently, not since he and Evergreen had both become very open about their relationship and Lisanna began to get involved with the seith of the Thunder God Tribe. The last part was something that rather annoyed him at times, but slowly, he was coming to terms with it.

Ah! The only thing better about getting to spend some quality time with Lisanna would be if Mirajane could be there. But alas, she was off working up at the bar per usual. Sometimes he longed for the days when he, Lisanna, and Mirajane could just go out on jobs together whenever they pleased, but at the same time, he knew how much Mira loved being up at the guild. It meant everything to her those days and, well, he could give up on some quality time for her if it meant her being so happy all the time.

Not to mention, if Mira was there, he was sure that she and Lisanna would spend more time gossiping together than pay attention to him. Which was fine, he was used to it. Growing up in between both an older and younger sister, he had learned to put up with all sides of them. They frequently would gang up on him and, for the most part, made his life hell. If one wasn't dating someone that he didn't deem manly enough, the other was off gallivanting with the Salamander who, while pretty awesome, wasn't a man. No way. Not like Elfman was!

But any how, he loved his sisters regardless. And having a chance to be alone with Lisanna for even longer was just what their relationship needed.

And his body needed the relaxation of a good pool. Not that the guild's wasn't great, because it was, but it was always full of other members. You were hardly ever alone. Apparently though, the hotel didn't have many other guests which was great. It was while he and Lisanna were hanging out around the pool that it happened.

"You cannot be serious," he heard someone say loudly, making him glance up. That sounded like-

"Ever?" he asked with a frown as he saw her and Freed approach the pool from the adjacent hotel. She looked less than happy to see him. Freed even more so. He was full on frowning.

"You both are here?" he asked, as if disappointed. Not the last member of the Thunder God Tribe though. Oh no. In fact, at the moment, he was running over to the edge of the pool before bombing into it, already in a pair of swim trunks and without his lucky visor.

"Bickslow!" Lisanna, who was in the pool too, immediately rushed over to him as he surfaced, tossing her arms around him. He was grinning real big too, tongue no doubt caked in chlorine and pool water then as it swung from his mouth.

"Thought I heard your voice," he snickered as she kissed his cheek, nearly making the other three all barf. "Lissy."

"I missed you, like, so much," she said as he kept beaming. "Where are you coming from?"

"We-"

"Did you two idiots plan this?" Evergreen complained as she took to crossing her arms over her chest. Not that it mattered. Elfman had seen her in her swim suit enough to practically have it memorized. "Bickslow?"

"No," he grumbled as Lisanna glared over at the woman then. "And we're not idiots!"

"Do you have your own room?" Lisanna was most concerned with that. "I'm sharing with Elf."

"I-"

"Why," Elfman complained as Freed just went to go sit in one of the lounging chairs around the pool and reflect on the day, "would that matter?"

"I'm sharin' with Freed, but Ever's got her own room. Elfman can stay in that."

"No," Ever complained, still just glaring and putout by the whole thing. They were supposed to be relaxing. And being around Elfman was the furthest from relaxing that she could get. "He's not."

"Too late. Already decided." Bickslow swam over to the edge of the pool then before climbing out. "Come on, Lissy. Swimmin' can wait! There's a room to be had. And a you to make bad."

"Bickslow," she complained as Evergreen made a face. Still, Lisanna was quick to follow him. And the second she was out of the pool, he moved to pick her up and carry her off. "Why are you rhyming?"

"I dunno. I'm trying out new character traits. Will it make you wanna go on more dates?"

"Not really. Your Mohawk looks really nice today."

"Thanks. I ever tell you how good you look in a bikini?"

"Frequently."

"Well, I'm sayin' it again."

"I hate them," Evergreen said as the two headed off, just like that. "In case it needed to be noted."

"Leave them be," Freed sighed, shutting his eyes as he took to breathing softly. "Maybe they'll hole up in the room and stay there."

"I really don't like that plan," Elfman said as his girlfriend just rolled her eyes before slowly going to sit at the edge of the pool and stare at him.

"What are you two doing here anyhow?" the woman asked. "I mean-"

"We just finished a job and were passing by," he said with a shrug. "Lisanna said that she wanted to stay for a few days and I didn't really want to go home yet anyhow. What about you guys?"

"Same," she sighed. "I can't believe that we got duped by them. I mean, seriously. You think one of us would have seen this coming."

For the record, Elfman didn't hate his sister dating. At all. And Bickslow, well, even better. Right? One of Ever's friends as well as Laxus'. Clearly, he wouldn't hurt his sister.

Until they got serious about one another and Elfman was disturbed to find that the seith was anything, but a man. He wasn't even a boy. Or a human, it seemed. The only thing that Bickslow really was, well, was obnoxious.

Constantly.

Not that this was any shock to anyone else. The Thunder Legion especially. He had his moments where, in the heat of battle, that he could be serious, but for the most part, he spent the better half of his time goofing off. Or making messes. Or bothering Evergreen. He really liked the last one. His favorite thing to do, since she got her new apartment where she lived alone, was showing up at random hours, banging on the door, drunk and belligerent. It was great!

…For him.

But that's all he cared about anyhow.

Other than his enchanted dolls.

And Lissy.

Not necessarily in that order.

So no, Elfman didn't like the fact that his baby sister had just been carried off to some hotel room with the man. But when he moved to climb out of the pool as well, it seemed to annoy Evergreen.

"Oh, Elfman, just leave them alone," she complained, making him stop. "Seriously. What's the big deal? It's not like you didn't know they were sleeping together."

"They're what?"

"Here we go." Freed didn't even peek open an eye. Just prayed for a quick end to what he just knew was going to turn into a very mind numbing conversation. "Out of curiosity, Elfman, what did you think the two of them were going into the room to do?"

"Obviously," Ever said, glancing over at her friend. "Not his sister."

"Ha ha," Elfman grumbled. "You two are just so funny."

"You really didn't know?" The woman frowned at him then. "I mean, I thought that they'd been staying the night with one another for awhile now."

"What?"

"You're joking. You didn't know?"

"No! Of course not. I wouldn't have let that happen."

"I believe that your opinion is pretty void in this sort of situation," Freed told him. "Though it begs to be mentioned that perhaps, if you weren't so wrapped up in Evergreen, you would have taken notice."

"And we're officially on separate sides."

"What, Ever?" Freed wasn't sparring anyone that day, it seemed. Not that she was shocked. He almost always was in a bad mood recently. "I assumed that at this point, it was well known. Are we pretending once more that it is not?"

Still, she only spared him a glare before looking to Elfman again. "How long were you planning on staying for?"

"A couple of days. Why?"

Shrugging some, she said, "Now that they're here together, I really don't see Bickslow and Lisanna as going anywhere. And, well, there's not really anything waiting for me to take care of back in Magnolia, so-"

"I personally do not care how long any of you stay," Freed told them. "But I am trying to have some time to myself over here. If you could kindly not speak so loudly-"

"I swear you've, like, spoken way more than either of us this entire time," Evergreen complained.

"I just don't like Lisanna with Bickslow," Elfman finished. "Right now. Or ever."

"That's the thing though," the other man told him. "It doesn't matter. And I've learned slowly to not care about the things that don't matter. If you can't change them, why even think about them?"

"You are taking a load off here, aren't you?" Ever remarked.

With a slight shrug, the man said, "I just feel…at peace. That is all."

"At peace, huh?"

"Yes, Elfman. You should try it some time. Just thinking of nothing, but the absolutely best things in your life. It-"

"You're just thinking about Laxus, aren't you?" his teammate accused. Again, she just got a shrug.

"And if I am? You should try it for yourself, Ever. You are all so…tense, constantly. What a waste. A complete waste."

"Considering you walked in here a frazzled mess," Elfman grumbled, "you sure have done a complete turn around."

"Seeing you and your sister threw me off. That is all. But the more I think of it, the better it is."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hmm?" He did open an eye then, though it was just to glance over at them. Quickly, he shut it, grinning all the while. "Oh, nothing. Just that, well, with you both here, Evergreen and Bickslow won't need to be entertained and I am free to do as I wish."

"Please," Ever requested, "never think that you need to entertain me. Or attempt to. I'm begging you."

"Oh, Ever." He even laughed some. "This is such a nice time, yes? Perhaps you and Elfman would have a nicer one off somewhere else? I have an idea."

"I don't want to hear it."

"What if," he suggested to her, "since Elfman's so uncomfortable with Lisanna and Bickslow, you two went to a totally different hotel?"

"And leave my little sister with that freak?" Elfman wasn't having it. "No way!"

"I'll be here to watch over her, I assure you," the letter mage said.

Suspicious of anything and everything at that point, the muscular man just glared over at the other before asking, "What? Are both of you…with…Lisanna…and…"

"I'm done. So done." Evergreen jumped up then, making a face at the one her boyfriend was making, too grossed out by his own thought to even put it into words. "Come on, Elfman."

"Come on and what?"

"Let's check out the spa."

"Uh, no, I'd rather not do that. At all."

"I said," she repeated, not even glancing back at him as she headed off, "to come on, Elfman."

"I don't see why I gotta go," he grumbled as he swam to the edge of the pool before hoisting himself out once more. "It's not a manly thing."

"And you're not a man, so we're even."

"I am a man! I'm the manliest of men!"

After they disappeared, off to do whatever it was that annoying people do, Freed settled in for a nice long rest. It's a wonder what only a few nice thoughts could do for a person.

* * *

"Hello? Are you guys… I'm just gonna come in, okay?"

That was what Elfman called out as he used his room key to get into the one he was supposed to be sharing with his baby sister. It was dark in there and, well, he wasn't taking any chances. Apparently, he wasn't allowed to. Not anymore.

"I have my eyes closed though," he continued on. "And-"

"Elf, just come in," he heard Lisanna complain from somewhere in the room. "We're not doing anything."

"Actually," another voice added, "we're trying to sleep. You're keeping our babies up!"

Great. So his stupid dolls were there too.

"Bicks," he heard her muffled complaint. Then, "What do you want, Elf? Ever kick you out?"

"No."

"That's just plain shocking," Bickslow remarked. "And hey, would it get you out of here any faster if you knew I was in the buff?"

"What?"

"Bickslow, honestly." Lisanna was growing annoyed then. Elfman heard the sound of the bed shifting some and then his sister's voice a tad clearer. "What is that you want, Elfman? We seriously were sleeping."

"I just need to get my bag," he grumbled as he headed over to where it was next to the unused bed. "You wouldn't believe the night I've had."

"I also don't care."

"You're about to get it," Lisanna threatened her boyfriend who just snickered in reply. Glancing over at her brother, she frowned when she found him not just in his trunks. "Where'd you get clothes?"

"It's just one of my shirts. Ever had it in her stuff."

"Ever has one of your shirts? That's cute."

"It's not cute. It's man-"

"You want one of my shirts, Lissy?" Bickslow offered, the bed shifting again. "Eh?"

"I dunno," she said slowly. "I like that cloak you wear better."

"It's not a cloak. It's a cape."

"It's totally a cloak."

"Uh, Lissy, I think I would know. It's a cape."

"And I think that I would know-"

"I'm confused. Are those really two different things or-"

"Elfman!" Bickslow wasn't up for having a debate. At least not one with the male Strauss. "I thought you were leaving? Or explaining to us your night? Or something? Whatever it is, do it quickly. Please. We're trying to flirt over here."

"Is that what that is?"

"Sorta," Lisanna mumbled. "But what happened that you're so upset about?"

"Just- Wait." He suddenly stood straight up, duffle bag in hand, and stared over at the bed they were in. "Lisanna…"

"What, Elf? Seriously, you-"

"Are you…"

"Am I…?"

"N-Naked?"

"What? No! Gross. Get out."

"Oy," Bickslow complained. "Like I'd let you look at her naked. You freak."

"Me? You're the freak!"

"I'm not a freak! Why would I be a freak? For enjoying what's given to me?"

"I hate you both." Lisanna's voice was muffled once more as she hid her face in the mattress. "Seriously."

"If you must know," the seith went on. "Lissy's wearin' some cute little panties-"

"I'm gonna be sick."

"-and my awesome cape."

"Cloak," was the deadened retort.

"Damn, Lisanna, it's a cape!"

Never before had Elfman felt like less of a man. And as he stood there, more or less in shock, another thought occurred to him.

"Your little…babies don't sleep in bed with you, do they?"

"At home, sure," Bickslow said. "But lucky them, they get their very own here! So scram."

"Yeah, Elf," Lisanna sighed, lifting her head once more. "I'm sorry that Ever kicked you out, but the babies have to sleep over there. We promised them."

"That we did," Bickslow agreed. "They never get their own bed." Then he sniffled. "They're growing up."

"That they are."

"Ever did not kick me out," Elfman complained then. "It was like I was trying to tell you before."

"Well, tell us quickly, because we're already bored."

"Bickslow, shush," his girlfriend hissed. "Maybe if we get really quiet, he'll leave."

"Or we could just fuck. Bet that'll get him gone."

Elfman growled at him then. "You're lucky that I just don't-"

"Okay, okay, Elf." Lisanna wanted him gone then. "Get to the point. What happened?"

"Well," he said after taking a moment to collect himself. "I might have made her upset."

"Still waiting for the punch line," the other man grumbled which that time only got him a look.

"She wanted to go to the spa and I…well… It wasn't manly! And I might have had a small…"

"You freaked out and embarrassed her, didn't you?"

He just sighed in response to his sister's speculation. "It hasn't been a good night."

"Not satisfied. In the least."

"Bickslow-"

"Not you, Lissy," he clarified. "You're more than satisfying. I meant this whole story thing. I wanted a big build up! A grand finale! An ending that left you wondering. And all I got was that Ever's a bitch and your brother's a dope. What was the point, I ask you? What was the point?"

"Uh, getting him out of here so we can go back to being alone?"

"Oh. Right. Great story, Elfman. Now take a hike."

Narrowing his eyes in their general vicinity, the older takeover mage said simply, "In case you're wondering, Lisanna, this does not have my blessing."

With that, thankfully, he finally took a hint.

"Thank God," Bickslow groaned as he just as quick jumped out of bed. "I had to take a leak this whole time."

"Gross."

"You're gross."

"You're grosser."

"You're grossest."

"Bleh."

"Bleh!"

And then they had to stick their tongues out at one another because, honestly, it was just their thing, before he disappeared into the bathroom.

"Lissy," he called out a few minutes later. "C'mere."

"No way. I don't wanna see whatever it is you did in there."

"Not that." She'd made it very clear before that while they were practically best friends, it wasn't cool to show her his, well, cool poops. At all. Which, for the record, were pretty awesome sometimes. "Let's take a bath."

"Gross."

"Grosser."

"Grossest."

"Just c'mere. I wanna soak."

"Why do I have to…soak with you?"

"So I can look at your body and mark you and stuff."

"You're such a romantic."

"Would it shock you if I told you that you're the first girl to ever say that to me? Ever?"

"Not much, no."

But it was nice, once they were in there, both relaxing as best they could in the tub. Lisanna's first statement didn't help things along.

"Do you know how many butts have probably sat right here? Where we're sitting? Naked butts?"

"This might surprise you-"

"At this point, nothing will."

"-but I'm not a butt man. Breasts all the way."

"Do we really need to share these sorts of things?"

"Of course we do, Lissy!"

"Stop yelling."

"Sorry. I just get over excited."

"About butt and boob talk?"

"About you talk. Any time I get to spend with you makes me happy, after all."

"Awe."

"The order to fill is tall, but if it means loving you, I'll answer the call!"

"Stop rhyming." Apparently, that wasn't cute. "And yelling. Seriously."

"I'm a loud person."

"I know."

"You usually like it."

"I just have a headache. That's all."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

Still, he shifted in the water some, trying to unwind more. All jests aside, seeing Lisanna did pump him up quite a bit. They'd both been taking so many jobs recently that he felt like they never got any time to themselves. And he wanted her all to himself. Constantly. So having to settle with a day here or there wasn't cutting it.

He loved the kid. She was pretty much the best thing ever. They were the best buddies anyone could find. It was a shame they couldn't be a team themselves and go out on jobs.

But that wouldn't work. Because he'd spend the whole time showing out and she'd transform into that little kitty thing and, well, he'd just have to take her right then and there! In front of the enemy and all! It went without saying.

So no. Things had to stay as they were. Stolen moments and annoying older brothers. She was worth it though.

"We should move here."

"Hmmm?"

"Move. Here. We should."

"To what?" Lisanna asked as he just kissed her shoulder. "This town?"

"No."

"This hotel?"

"No."

"Then-"

"This tub."

"Oh, Bickslow-"

"Just live in it. Forever. And never get out."

"You're being stupid."

"So?" When wasn't he? "Would you not then? Live here with me forever? When I would for you?"

"If I had to," she groaned.

"Well, don't sound so annoyed by it."

"I would be annoyed by it though."

"Well then."

"But," she was quick to add. "I would love you anyways."

"Awe."

"Yeah."

"We're pretty much the best people ever, huh?"

"Mmmm…I think Mira's better than me."

"And I think Laxus is better than me."

"But if they both suddenly, like, died or something-"

"We would totally take their places. Yes. And I would change my name to Laxus Drier and you could be Mirajane Straussenburg."

They high-fived then. Because why not?

"We're so in sync."

"Always."

* * *

Freed wasn't a very complex man. Not outwardly, anyhow. He had one passion. And that was another man. A man who clearly did not return those feelings. At least not as deeply. Which was fine. It didn't make anything less enjoyable for him. He enjoyed when the other man was enjoying himself. Which he did frequently.

With Mirajane Strauss.

Whom, Freed would like to point out, had beaten him in battle. There for was a much better guard for Laxus. So all in all, it worked out perfectly.

Not that if, like, some sort of tragic accident occurred where Mirajane was killed, leaving Laxus distraught and in need of comfort, Freed wouldn't step right up and comfort him. In what ever way needed. What _ever_. Because he would. Quite quickly.

Or, if Laxus was struck upside his head and went into a coma, losing all of his memories, Freed would be the first, when the man woke up, to tell him that they were lovers and that they had been together forever. Because, honestly, who wouldn't capitalize on that sort of opportunity?

…Not that Freed…thought about those things happening…frequently…

But that wasn't the point!

The point was that, at the moment, Freed's most important desire was being fulfilled. And he could not have planned it any more wonderfully. Masterfully, really.

Laxus Dreyar was, in that moment, sporting an unnatural grin as he walked through the hotel doors, arm-in-arm with his girlfriend, listening to her blab on about something or other. And Freed was walking into the lobby right about then to wait for that moment, only to have it come up and surprise him, just like that.

"Reservation," Laxus was saying as he and Mira approached the desk. "For-"

"Laxus!"

And Freed jumped him. Because Freed always jumped him when he first saw him. Always.

"Are you with this man?" the person behind the front desk asked in shock.

"Yes," Freed answered.

"No," Laxus grumbled.

"Sorta" Mirajane giggled.

"What are you doing here, Freed?" Laxus grumbled as he shook him off. "And what- Oh, no."

From one of the other halls, a very wet and belligerent Bickslow was being dragged along, Lisanna with him, by another member of the staff.

"Oy, boss," the man called out. "What are you doing here?"

"You know them too?" the man behind the desk continued.

"Lisanna," Mirajane called over to her. "What happened? Did you two-"

"They," the person who was dragging them along, "have been a problem all night."

"Have not," Bickslow complained.

"Have not," his babies mimicked.

"We've had noise complaints," the man began to which Bickslow made a face.

"I paid for that room! If I wanna do nasty, dirty things to my Lissy in there and make a bunch of noise while I'm at it, I can!"

"Oh, lord," Laxus groaned, reaching up to rub at his face as Mira put a hand to her cheek in shock.

"For starters," Freed complained as he straightened up and glared over at them. "You didn't pay for that room. Elfman did."

"Well, I bought a room."

"Wrong again. I bought us a room. You told me you were broke. Which I know is false, considering we just finished a job."

Narrowing his eyes at the other man, Bickslow said simply, "Whose side are you on?"

"Why," Laxus groaned, "are you both soaking wet?"

"Obviously," Lisanna said, gesturing to their swimsuits, "we went swimming."

"It's the middle of the night!"

"And?"

"That," the staffer said, "is why I went to get them. Pool hours are listed and you two were in violation of-"

"When I bought a room here," Bickslow said loudly, "I was promised a pool!"

"I swear," Freed complained, "that we just went over the fact you have yet to pay for anything in this hotel. At all."

"That's not true," Lisanna said. "We sorta hit the mini-bar pretty heavily."

"You do that after an exhausting romp," Bickslow agreed.

"And…well… Since you and Mirajane are here, Laxus-"

"No."

"Laxus, just pay for whatever it is they did," Mira sighed as she shook her hand free from his. "Please."

"And tell them that I can use the pool," Bickslow ordered.

"Bickslow, if it's rule, I can't force them to change it," Laxus groaned, overly tired and that point and wishing for it all to just come to an end. "And why, exactly, didn't you just use the pool earlier? Before it closed?"

"Uh, boss, did you miss the part where me and Lisanna were fucking like rabbits? Honestly, did you? Because I would love to go back over that."

"I hate you," Lisanna told him with a frown though he just grinned.

"I hate you all," Laxus told them over by the desk, just in case it needed to be stated. "Honestly. I mean, me and the demon came here to get away. How did you- Oh, no. Seriously, no."

But it was too late. He could heard the sound of Evergreen and Elfman talking as they too came out from yet another hallway. Elfman was holding a bucket while nodding his head along with whatever his girlfriend said. They almost walked right through the lobby and passed all of them.

Leave it to Evergreen though, she had, like, a sixth sense for tracking down Laxus. Seriously. Even a whiff of him and she'd go crazy.

"Laxus," she exclaimed as they came to a stop in the middle of the lobby. "What-"

"Don't tell me," Freed sighed, "that the two of you are in trouble too."

"No," Elfman said slowly, holding up the bucket. "We were going to get ice."

"Ice!" Bickslow face palmed himself. "That's what we should have used, Lissy. You know, when we were-"

"I hate him too now," Mira whispered to her boyfriend who only shook his head. "And hi, Elf."

"Hi." He started to go over and hug her, but stopped when he saw Lisanna and Bickslow still dripping wet and clearly being escorted out of the hotel. "What-"

"Don't ask," Freed begged. "Please."

"I hate this establishment! I want my refund," Bickslow started up again.

"How many fucking times does it have to be told to you that you've paid for nothing?" Laxus growled. "I mean, seriously?"

"What are you guys doing here?" Elfman asked his older sister as he went to hug her.

"Well, Laxus and I were trying to get away for the weekend, but-"

"Me and Lisanna were here doing the same. But then they showed up," he said, gesturing around to the Thunder Legion. "I think her and Bickslow planned it."

"We did not," Lisanna complained. "Believe me, if we wanted to meet up somewhere, it'd be without you guys."

"Yeah," Bickslow agreed.

"As you get kicked out of a room that nether of you paid for after racking up a mini-bar bill that you're having Laxus foot," Freed recapped.

"I'm about tired of you."

"And clearly, Bickslow, the hotel's tired of you. So I think you're the one with a tad more problems today, aren't you?"

"They didn't plan this," Laxus grumbled, glaring over at Freed. "Did they?"

"Huh? I do not-"

"I'm not stupid," he said. "I could tell. You knew that me and Mira were coming here, didn't you?"

"W-Well, I didn't _not_ know, but-"

"Why did you wanna ruin our happy weekend away?" Mira asked, frowning for a moment. Just as quickly though, she grinned. "I know! You all just missed us so much that you sought us out."

"No," Bickslow said. "Me and Lissy like gettin' kicked out of hotels without people like you around to judge."

"How many hotels have you been kicked out of?" Evergreen asked with a frown as she too went to stand with Laxus.

"I don't think that's the question that needs to be asked right now," Lisanna said.

"Mainly because we've lost count," her boyfriend agreed.

"Laxus," Mirajane sighed, glancing up at him with pleading eyes. She didn't even need to tell him.

"Look," he said, taking a step closer to the reception desk. "They're family…to her. And is there something that we can do to just sweep this under the rug? I swear, they won't make a peep for the rest of the night."

And, since Laxus was clearly ordering it then, Bickslow took to biting his tongue. Literally.

"Here," Laxus went on, pulling his wallet out before sliding a couple jewels to the man. He just raised an eyebrow. "For any damage they cause."

"D-Damage?"

"We're Fairy Tail," he sighed. "It's just customary. I'll pay for whatever."

"Good going, Bickslow," Ever hissed over at him. "You're making Laxus look like a fool."

"These two also owe us some money," the man at the desk said, gesturing to Elfman and Evergreen. "Or at least the large one."

"Great, Ever," Bickslow complained. "What'd you do?"

"He's talking about Elfman and you know it!"

"I sorta broke a massage table," the man said, scratching at his head. "But I was going to pay for it."

"How?" Mira asked.

"Well…the table wasn't really manly and Ever drug me off to the spa and…"

"It broke under your weight, didn't it?" Freed prompted.

"You could say that, yeah."

"Great," Laxus grumbled. "And Freed? Have you done something too?"

"I-"

"Nope," he went on before his most loyal follower could speak. "Just led these idiots here to ruin my life."

"In his defense," Evergreen said slowly. "Lisanna and Elfman were here without his help."

"Though not to my detriment," the letter mage said. "I was hoping that Bickslow would distract Lisanna and you would Elfman, Ever, so that I could have some time alone with Laxus."

"What about me?" Mirajane asked.

"Before all this money was spent, I figured Laxus would send you off on a shopping trip at some point," the man sighed. "And then he and I could spend some time alone."

"Shopping does sound fun, Lax."

"And it would have been, had your monster siblings not blown your budget."

"No."

"Yes."

"Hey, boss." Bickslow, figuring that the man was going to keep him from being kicked out, was animated once more. "Since we're all here and stuff, there's a cool suite at the top of this hotel. You should buy it and we could all spend the week together!"

"Why," Lisanna hissed at him, knowing that would turn into being with her siblings more than with her boyfriend, "would he do that?"

The Thunder Legion knew. All three of them. Because that would given them access to the man that they practically worshipped, relationships be damned.

"No," Laxus said then, looking once more to the man behind the desk. "Me and my lady here would like to check in now. And then, we're going to lock the door and not come out until the sun comes out. And the rest of you are going to follow suit. No sneaking around my room, Freed."

"If you insist."

"No forcing Elfman to do things that only lead to property damage, Ever."

"That really wans't my fault."

"And no making noise, Bickslow. Or taking late night swims. Just go to bed." And, because the thought alone disgusted him, he said, "No more sex with Lisanna either."

"Laxus!" the woman yelled as her older sister only sighed.

"Dragon," she whispered. "Can't we go to another hotel? Please?"

"No, demon. I promised you this place and you're going to get it."

"But-"

"They won't bother us anymore." Then he looked each one of the members of his bodyguard in the eyes. "Will you guys?"

"N-No," Freed said, bowing his head. "I was foolish to plot behind your back."

"Of course not, Laxus," Evergreen told him.

"You say no sex with Lissy? Fine! No sex with Lissy!"

"Bickslow," Lisanna complained.

"Kid, don't you get it? I can't have sex with _you_ , but you can with _me_."

"What does that even mean?"

"Here." Laxus slide a card across the desk to the other man. "Anything they do wrong, put it on my bill, yeah? And I'll take care of it."

"You're such a good big brother," Mirajane told him as the man just nodded. "Laxus. An overly indulgent one, but-"

"If I hear anymore about misbehavior," Laxus announced to the others as he got his room key before leading the demon off. "I'll strangle all of you. Now go to bed."

"He treats us like children," Elfman complained softly to Evergreen as they set off once more to get that ice. "And I'm not. I'm a man!"

Freed just scurried off while Bickslow and Lisanna had to stick their tongues out at the man that had been reprimanding them because, well, duh, before heading back to their room to figure ways around Laxus no sex rule. Or not. They were kinda already over that for the night. Sleep sounded nice. Good. Nice and good.

"Something tells me," Mirajane sighed as she and Laxus set off to their room, both tired after their long day, involving trains which Laxus hated above all else and shopping which was a close second, "that it's going to be a long weekend."

"Yeah, demon," he sighed, leaning down to press a kiss against her head, "But that's what family's for."

* * *

 **This was another old, unfishined one-shot that I tweaked some before finishing. The Strauss Siblings and The Thunder God Tribe just belong together. Deal with it.**


End file.
